Gays are fascinating, mysterious creatures. As a result, it can be difficult to view a gay and all of his (Or her? Sometimes it’s so hard to tell!) extremely intriguing behaviors outside the context of his (her) sexual orientation. For example, if you were to meet a well-dressed gay man named Neil, you probably wouldn’t think, “My, that individual Neil sure has an eye for fashion.” Most likely you would think, “My, flaming homos such as Neil are so very stylish.” You can’t help it. It’s how our brains are wired.
Famous Writer Dies Tragically When Private Jet Crashes Near Fabulous Vacation Home; World Mourns
Marea Blue, famous writer, began her ascent to literary greatness with a series of fictional works of which she was also the illustrator. The daughter of a high school teacher, she had an unlimited supply of dittos available to her as a medium and would labor for hours on drawings with Spanish homework printed in faded purple on their opposite side. Her trademark images were of torso-less humans with long legs that seemed to grow directly from the underside of their heads. Most biographers consider this a subtle statement on the importance of the brain (logic) over heart (emotion), but less reputable writers from gay-interest magazines have also attributed this to Blue’s self-proclaimed status as a “leg man”.
The Office Handbook: A Guide for the Reluctant Corporate Employee – Chapter 2
Introduction
Chapter 1: Combating Office Awkwardness
Chapter 2: The Fundamentals of Office Real Estate
To the untrained eye, every cubicle in a corporate office is identical. Three walls the color of dirty gym socks, mostly unused drawers stuffed with shit from the last twelve inhabitants, migraine-inducing florescent lights, the nicest desk chair and computer monitor you’ve managed to scavenge vulture-like from other recently abandoned cubicles; each is custom designed in the spirit of The Giver to dim memories of color, natural daylight, creativity, joy and other such luxuries that may cause you to wonder about the world outside of the community between the hours of 9 and 5. You may hang up pictures of your baby and/or puppy, important looking documents marked with highlighter, comic strips about sad cartoon characters who also work in a cubicle, or, if you’re an Active employee, the bibs from every 5K you’ve ever “competed” in, but most would agree that even these sad suggestions of personality are not enough to distinguish one cube from the other three that share its dingy walls. Cubicles, with their drab sameness, in their tidy little rows, appear to be the great equalizer, the Levittown of the work world.
Gay and at the…
I lead a pretty charmed life for a homosexual. You’d think it would be all separate water fountains, bar raids, and Eminem-led assaults on my character, but as a resident of a liberal state who has surrounded herself with a buffer of likeminded individuals her whole life, I have been largely untouched by discrimination. Even my stint in Middle America happened to coincide with Iowa’s legalization of same-sex marriage and my affiliation with a program called AmeriCorps that was shockingly gayer than a women’s rugby team.
Arizona Cheers and Jeers
I have been going to Arizona for rugby at least once a year since I was a freshman in college. While these trips often include an epic party with some of my favorite desert dwellers, it takes a lot of hugs and alcohol to negate the misery of a rugby game played at high noon in hundred degree weather and twelve hours of cumulative driving across a landscape that is best described as “beige”. Couple this with my general feelings of rage toward the “Zonies” who migrate to San Diego in droves starting in June to crowd my beaches and drive poorly around my neighborhood until well into September, and you can see why heading in an eastward direction on the I-8 past Mission Valley is something I turn my nose up at like an elderly La Jolla home owner.
Linens N’ Things of Little Importance
Just when I thought my aversion to the holiday season had become more of a tradition or a habit than an actual reaction to the two month period when Santa and his gaudy merriment barf all over the retail world, I did something to cement my Scrooge stance for 2009.
I put linens on my Christmas list.
The Office Handbook: A Guide for the Reluctant Corporate Employee
Introduction
This is for the Social Science and Liberal Arts majors. Anthropology, Political Science, Comparative Literature, Communications, Ethnic Studies – if you have a piece of paper announcing the completion of a degree that uses any combination of these words, I am writing this for you.
It’s a Boy!
I would like to introduce all of you to my child, Rugby. I love Rugby so much, and not in the way you love your favorite movie, or a treasured heirloom. My love for Rugby is instinctual, a fact of life, a matter of my being, like freckles or scoliosis. This love is not a choice, and my resulting commitment is no longer a manifestation of this choice; it is a sensation on my skin, a dull ache in my muscles, a duty, an inevitability, a gift.
“[Unnamed Online Registration Company], this is Marea…”
I know that this may come as a shock to all my fans out there, but contrary to what Carrie Bradshaw of Sex and the City might have you believe, writing occasional, self-absorbed musings about whatever highly personal topic happens to pop into my idle mind each week is not as lucrative an activity as one would hope.
Blogging About Harry Potter: A New Low?
A quick disclaimer/confession:
I have not read any of the Harry Potter books, nor have I seen all of the movies. I know that to a die-hard Harry Potter fan, this makes me absolutely unqualified to make any commentary whatsoever about the blessed work of JK Rowling and the subsequent butchering and/or enhancement of her work by various movie directors (depending on which camp you’re from). And after Chowder yelled at me the other night when my criticism of Quidditch as a sport was based on a slight misunderstanding of the rules, something I would have known, “HAD I DONE SOME RESEARCH!”, I am feeling a little timid about sharing any opinions in the general realm of wizardry at the moment.
Occupation: Cubicle Monkey 