Dear Samsung Flip Phone,

I’m going to be frank – I’ve been unhappy for some time now.  It’s silly for me to hang around hoping you’ll change when you are just as unreliable and low-achieving as you were when we met four years ago.  One minute you’re fine, the next minute you’re going on about your low battery, unable to complete the simplest tasks.  I know it’s only a matter of time before you shut down completely, and I don’t want to be around for that.

You should know that I’ve been cheating on you with my work phone for months now.  It was never serious – just the occasional call or text – always when I was angry with you.  I know Blackberry is totally wrong for me, but sometimes it’s nice to be with a GROWN-UP phone – one that can satisfy my basic needs.  I’m not proud of it, but my willingness to be unfaithful was the first sign that something needed to change.

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